My Kids Have A Favorite Parent, & It Isn’t Me.

There is a lot of talk out there about parents and if they have a favorite kid. My wife claims to have no favorite and says she loves each kid equally. In my case, I’m more honest. My favorite kid is a malleable position held by whichever kid is not being a pain in the ass at the current moment. But the kids? There is no question they definitely have a favorite parent, and it is very obvious that person isn’t me. I am sure it isn’t hard to guess that their favorite person is their mother, my wife. I am not sure what caused my wife to be held in such high esteem, but there is no question my wife is their favorite.

At dinner, the kids fight to sit next to her. When we are out at the store they battle is over who gets to hold her hand. Bath time, getting their hair done, who gives the final kiss before sleep. They only want Mommy. All of the time I spend with them while Mommy is at work doesn’t matter. All the diapers I have changed, all the meals I have cooked, All the doctors appointments, dances classes and PT appointments don’t mean a thing. I am constantly reminded of my second place status.

I don’t want you to think my wife has done anything to encourage this. She is constantly sending the kids back to me. They don’t listen. They just cry about how they want Mommy. At home, it’s annoying. But when we are out at a store it’s worse. I get stared at as I carry the kids while they scream “I want Mommy!”  It hasn’t happened yet but I am waiting to be detained by security after someone perceives this show as me kidnaping my kids. This is funny to me because when they are acting like that taking them with me is the last thing I want to do.

Truth be told, it doesn’t bother me that much that I am not that favorite. I just wish the kids wouldn’t throw it in my face quite as often. But being in second place isn’t that bad. Why? Well, being the less popular parent has it’s advantages. When she is home, her popularity means she rarely gets a break. The kids are always looking to her for something while I sit by and watch. I do try to help, but when the kids insist only Mommy can comb their hair I just take a step back and go watch TV or play a Words With Freinds.

From what I heard this is just a phase, and I won’t continue to be second place for long. One day in the coming future, it will be me that the kids prefer and I will be stuck putting both kids to bed while my wife sits back relaxing and remembering when all this was her problem. Until then I am going to enjoy not being the favorite parent.

Photo from Erik Przekop – – CC




Bryan Alkire

Bryan is a Stay at Home Dad from Kalamazoo MI. Every day he is lucky enough to experience the joys and struggles of raising his two young girls. His older daughter, a brain tumor survivor, has just started school. His younger daughter is a ball of energy that always keeps him on his toes. He chronicles his adventures with his girls and beautiful wife on his blog When not watching the girls he plays golf (badly), enjoys craft beer, and working on that book he keeps promising to get done.

2 thoughts on “My Kids Have A Favorite Parent, & It Isn’t Me.

  • January 18, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    I hear you on this one. Luckily my older girl chose me… major pat on the back. But my younger daughter (4 now) DID NOT. Then again, I didnt (wasnt allowed to) change her diapers, or later clean her bottom when she was toilet trained or give her a bath, so it has its pluses and minuses. My wife and I were changing off being home and I always found that the kids liked the parent that had been home with them all day. But that doesnt seem to work with you. Strange though, its seems like a regular pattern with kids that they choose one parent or the other. Wonder what the psychologists say about this?

    • January 18, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      I figured it was because they see her less. Who knows.


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