Ladies, want a better husband? It’s time for you to change.

Ok Ladies, we need to talk. Based on my entirely unscientific Facebook research it seems to me you’re unhappy with the men in your life. I repeatedly see meme’s and read complaints about how they aren’t helping enough and not doing their fair share of the domestic chores. Women, you feel unfairly burdened and a recent viral video only served to highlight this feeling.

Who is the Problem?

In the video, three women talk about how their husbands “help” them but really aren’t doing anything. The video is trying to be funny, but based on the comments I read and the number of times it was shared, it hit too close to home for many of you. It seems there is a real disconnect between what the men in your lives are doing and what you want them to be doing. But ladies, I’m sorry to tell you, it’s all your fault.

 

With such low expectations, is it any wonder we just barely meet them?

Women, you present a picture of us online as incompetent, and then accept this failure at home because it is “normal”. Why? It seems you’re used to it. You see this way of thinking in the memes you share or your funny jokes. We see it on Tv constantly as the trope of the incompetent dad is as common as the wacky neighbor. More importantly, ladies even your actions send this message. This includes both not trusting dad with the kids as well as the overabundance of accolades he may receive for simply having the same number of kids as when you left.

Your actions have created expectations that, to be honest, aren’t very high. I get it, we as men do some dumb stuff. Like really dumb. But, it seems to you, we are nothing more than big toddlers who lack all of the skills needed to keep ourselves or our children alive. There are a lot of things I’m bad at. Math, running, dancing being only a few examples. But I am a good and involved father and husband, and I am not special.

Can this be fixed?

chores-1294632_1280Luckily, it doesn’t have to be this way. Your man isn’t incompetent or incapable. Expect more of him and you will be shocked at how well he does. In my house, it is a pretty even split. I cook, do laundry, clean, give the kids baths, and even clean the cat box. I don’t do it because I enjoy it, or because I have any strong belief in splitting chores. I do it because my wife and I have a set of expectations for each other. No one is allowed to sit on the couch leaving the heavy lifting of domestic life to the other. We are a team and have to function as a team. Except for cooking, that is mine because I am pretty sure she could burn water.

In the end ladies, all I am asking is to respect us. Stop telling the world we can’t handle it. Stop treating us like children and treat us as equals. Those memes and videos aren’t funny they are demeaning. Expect more from us and I promise we will make you proud.

And Finally, guys, let’s prove we are more than the dumb helpless guy everyone is laughing at. Expect more from yourself too. Be the guy your wife can brag about not the one the one she begrudgingly laughs about. And guys, if you think it is ok to leave it to her because you work or have any other dumb excuse, well then we need to talk.

 

Tip of the hat to The Break Womb. I am not a fan of this video but they have a ton of funny stuff on their YouTube channel and I highly suggest you take a look.

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Bryan Alkire

Bryan is a Stay at Home Dad from Kalamazoo MI. Every day he is lucky enough to experience the joys and struggles of raising his two young girls. His older daughter, a brain tumor survivor, has just started school. His younger daughter is a ball of energy that always keeps him on his toes. He chronicles his adventures with his girls and beautiful wife on his blog www.kzoodad.com. When not watching the girls he plays golf (badly), enjoys craft beer, and working on that book he keeps promising to get done.

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