Somethings I will never tell my kids. I talk to my girls a lot. Every day I try to impart some little bit of knowledge or experience to help them grow up. But there are some things I don’t share. I ‘m not lying to them, it is more an omission of parts of the truth.
7 – Most of what’s important to my girls I don’t care about – My kids have a lot of interests. Very few of those interests cross with mine. Personally, I don’t think it is possible for me to care less about who had a birthday today, or that you had to share the blue crayon. I don’t care that there are new Shopkins available, which Shopkins their friends have or, to be honest, what a Shopkin even is. I listen because it is important for them to feel heard and to know their words have value. That way, when they are old enough and actually have something to say they will be comfortable enough to say it to me.
6 – You almost ruined my marriage. – It isn’t a secret, marriage is hard. I am lucky, I have a pretty good marriage. When we do argue, it is often caused by our girls. We aren’t fighting about the kids, we are fighting because of them. They tire us out, they stress us out and leave us so on edge and so stressed out that when my wife or I commit the littlest transgression the other explodes. It takes a special effort to try not to take out the stress on each other. Marriage is hard, marriage with kids is harder.
5 – I hold you to a much higher standard then I can obtain. – I have actually written about this one before. I have high expectations for my girls. Not just professionally, but as people. I expect them to use manners and exercise, and eat healthily. I want them to be hard working and driven. All things that don’t describe me. I let my kids think I am doing all these things. But, everyone especially my wife, knows the truth.
4 – I don’t understand a thing about you. – Now this might not be kids and just women because I don’t understand a thing about my wife either. But, I don’t understand the girls. Why they do what they do? Why did my younger daughter run in a circle for 15 minutes this morning? Why is either girls’ favorite toy the one her sister is playing with? Why can’t anything be said at normal volume? I just don’t get it.
3 – I lie to you constantly. – I used to be a pretty honest person. I like to think in everyday life I still am. But, with my kids, I am a pathological liar. Mcdonalds is closed so we can’t go. That movie we have seen 1000 times that we own on DVD is missing. That food the girls love but I don’t feel like cooking? We are out of that. I don’t do it to be mean. I do it because they are young enough to accept it, and a little lie is so much easier than the 2-hour tantrum that may result from the truth. I’m not dishonest, I’m lazy.
2 – Sometimes I can’t wait to get away from my you. – I love my kids, I really do. But sometimes, after a few hours of crying, and fighting, I can’t wait to get away from them. I count the minutes until their mom gets home, or they go down for a nap. I feel horrible admitting that but it is the truth. A few minutes of quiet, no one asking me for anything or answering every statement I make with why? Priceless.
1 – Most of the time I don’t know what I’m doing. – I know this isn’t that shocking to any of the grown-ups who knows me, but I don’t know what I’m doing. My kids don’t know this yet. They think I can fix anything. They think I can handle everything. They are so very very wrong. I am making this up as we go. My only hope is I don’t make too many mistakes, and my wife is ready because I am going to need some help.