7 Stupid Things People Say About Other People’s Kids

People say stupid things. Often about things they know nothing about, like other people’s kids. It doesn’t matter if they have kids or not, everyone has an opinion on how you can better raise your children.  I can kind of understand this from people without kids, they don’t know any better. So when they say something stupid I kind of understand. But parents, they should know better. Yet for some reason when dealing with other people’s kids, they say these stupid things too.

The Stupid Things

7. I can’t believe you let your kid ___________.

“I can’t believe they let the kid wear that.”  Well, believe it. What you may not know was getting my daughter dressed took two hours this morning. In the end, she wanted to wear a pink frozen dress with orange sweat pants, no socks, and a brown and gold (Go WMU) bow. The way I look at it, she’s not naked anymore. You would be surprised, especially after the second kid, how many seemly important things just don’t matter. If they are fed, dressed, safe, and happy I consider it a win.

6. My parents would have never stood for _________.

This one is usually more from people without children. Whenever a kid misbehaves in public, someone says this. I am going to let you in on a little secret, this just isn’t true. Your parents put up with amounts of crap that would shock you. Trust me you cried, complained, and threw tantrums. Don’t you remember it? Well not getting punished doesn’t stick with you. Getting grounded for a month? That is stuck in your memory. When you got older you may have outgrown that behavior. But as a toddler, trust me you were a terror.

 5. If they had better parents…..

I had this conversation just last week. A friend of mine was saying that if your kids are loud they shouldn’t be allowed on an airplane.  He followed this nugget of wisdom with his belief that if the kids had better parents they wouldn’t act that way. The truth? Sometimes, especially when kids are young, is they go nuts. They scream, they cry, they yell, and no one knows why. If you want to know if this is the parents fault, look at them. When kids misbehave good parents are embarrassed, bad parents are mad. Those good parents are trying everything and are embarrassed that nothing is working. Bad parents are just mad that Jr is not listening and making their life harder.

4. I will be different

This one is a special type of stupid. Every new or prospective parent says they will be different. They pick a behavior and proclaim that their kids will never do something like that.  Your best-laid plans, much like many of the nice things in your pre-kid house, will be destroyed.  Hopefully, as they grow, some of those behaviors will go away. But rookie parent, you don’t know more than us veterans. You don’t have a new way to do it. Most importantly be prepared, and learn to roll with whatever Jr. decided to send your way.

3. Oh, that poor kid…..

This one is a little different, but equally as stupid. People will see a kid crying begging for some small treat. They will see a child begging for food because they are so hungry. Maybe the kid is pleading to be picked up. They look and sigh, oh the poor kid. His or her parents just don’t care. You know what those people didn’t see? That kid having multiple treats before they got in the store. Or that kid begging for food? They probably just ate dinner or refused dinner and now wants some candy. Maybe that kid was just set down after being carried all day. Long story short. Most kids don’t need your pity.

2. That! Is why I won’t have kids

Look all over the internet. There are no shortage of childless people standing up and enlightening us to the horror of children. They buck the trend to procreate, and proclaim “I won’t have kids”.  If you decide you don’t want kids, fine. That is your decision and I support it. Not everyone wants to, or should be, a parent. This is a good thing. Please don’t think I am calling your decision dumb. I am calling the people who wear this decision as a badge of honor, stupid. Don’t want kids? Great. Feel the need to share this with the entire world on every possible occasion? I hate you. You are not special. You aren’t bucking a trend, and you aren’t making a brave choice. Some people have kids. Others don’t. Neither is any better than the other. Move on.

1. If it is so hard you should not have kids

Whenever someone gripes about the difficulties of raising kids someone will chime in, “If it’s so hard, don’t have kids!” It is hard, and trust me not a single parent alive hasn’t thought about how hard, usually after being up all night as your mini-me projectile vomits everything they have ever eaten all over something expensive. But damn, it’s rewarding.

What dumb things have you heard?  Leave it in the comments below.

 Photo from –Marc Wathieu – Flickr.comCC

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Bryan Alkire

Bryan is a Stay at Home Dad from Kalamazoo MI. Every day he is lucky enough to experience the joys and struggles of raising his two young girls. His older daughter, a brain tumor survivor, has just started school. His younger daughter is a ball of energy that always keeps him on his toes. He chronicles his adventures with his girls and beautiful wife on his blog www.kzoodad.com. When not watching the girls he plays golf (badly), enjoys craft beer, and working on that book he keeps promising to get done.

One thought on “7 Stupid Things People Say About Other People’s Kids

  • April 16, 2015 at 9:58 am
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    Nothin but love for this one!! Omfg if I heard “If he were my kid, I’d…” Or, “All he needs is a swift swat!” or, my favorite… “My dad would’ve been getting his belt!” when my son went through a stage of behavioral challenges, I think I might’ve wrapped that belt around someone’s neck. Seriously.

    1) I live with PTSD. It’s not POSSIBLE for me to use spanking in a calm, reasonable manner for discipline. The anger that bubbles close to the surface ALL THE EFFING TIME makes self control difficult for me. It’s better since I’ve had good counseling, but for the love of all that is holy, please do not encourage people to spank their children. You have no idea what you might be advocating.

    2) Spanking, in general, or for that matter, shouting, made my son’s behaviors 100x worse. Every. Single. Time. Those types of approaches did NOTHING to calm the situation. They only escalated it, driving him into an out of control tornado of chaos and both of us into hysterical meltdowns. It wasn’t good for anyone.

    Turns out, he was dealing with anxiety and depression. Now that he’s receiving proper treatment and support, he’s a fully functional young adult who is learning the skills he needs to handle his own challenges, and is well on his way to becoming a productive, successful adult who will contribute to society in meaningful ways.

    Thank God for the teachers and others who saw the potential in him, and came along side me to help raise him up. I honestly don’t know where we’d be today, if the judgmental idiots had been more common than the very awesome people who poured energy, time, and love into our lives.

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